Wednesday, May 04, 2005

If I Could Be ...

Gee Dubya: If I Could Be ...

I did not have a good night last night. Over the weekend I installed new spyware software because for some reason the software I get with my ISP stopped loading and wouldn't open. I'm thought maybe I had something lurking in the background but found nothing when I checked it out at PCPitstop. So, I purchased Spyware Doctor. I don't know what I or "it" did but opening my blog at home is a stretch. Anyone and everyone else's blog opens just fine and dandy but I lose my right sidebar. I screwed around with the privacy and security settings last night and with the settings on the Spyware Dr. but to no avail. Grrrrr. Interestingly enough, the only way to view my blog in full was if I went through blogger, format and preview! Go figure that one.

Gee Dubya has requested (*conned*) me into playing along with this life game. I am to choose five of the occupations from the list below and imagine what it might be like to live them and then ask three people to do the same.

The List:

If I could be a scientist ... If I could be a farmer ... If I could be a musician ... If I could be a doctor ... If I could be a painter ... If I could be a gardener ... If I could be a missionary ... If I could be a chef ... If I could be an architect ... If I could be a linguist ... If I could be a psychologist ... If I could be a librarian ... If I could be an athlete ... If I could be a lawyer ... If I could be an inn-keeper ... If I could be a professor ... If I could be a writer ... If I could be a llama-rider ... If I could be a bonnie pirate ... If I could be an astronaut ... If I could be a world famous blogger ... If I could be a justice on any one court in the world ... If I could be married to any current famous political figure ...

If I could be a scientist - most people would probably want to do all of these altruistic discoveries or creations. Nope, there are three things I would develop or discover: 1)20/20 vision no matter what the age 2) Cream to eliminate wrinkles and 3) a non-invasive method to dissolve all cellulite. Pretty selfish huh? Bwahahahaha

If I could be a gardener - I would create living art through flowers, shrubs and trees. I love putting together the combination of flowers and shrubs and trees. There is a healing and calming effect from flowers and trees. I'd forget about lawns except maybe for very small areas, there is nothing more tedius and boring to me than mowing a lawn. I'd rather turn lawns into gardens.

If I could be a justice on any one court in the world - I'd be a US Supreme Court Judge. Hey, it's a great gig! Nobody dares to diss you, there's a level of reverence given immediately upon joining the SCOTUS whether earned or not. I'd start hammering all of the socialist activism of the last 60 years endorsed by the Supremes. I could needle the snot out of Ruth and Sandra. I'd love to have a chance to wipe that smirk of condescension off of Bryer's face. After watching the debate/discussion between Bryer and Scalia, I thought Bryer had this air of superiority about him when addressing Scalia. I'd work to eliminate the lifetime appointment of these judges. No one past the age of oh say 75 on the court or maybe 80 tops.

If I could be a professor - I would only do this if I was immediately tenured. Then, I'd be the anti-christ to the lefties of the country. I'd call Hillary Clinton "Hildabeast" in public and get away with it. You know, like some of the 'mainstream' profs today call GW a killer and a nazi. Instead of fawning over the likes of the Ward Churchill, I'd condemn them publicly and call them traitors. It would also be fun to call attention to the religion of environmentalism by calling these types domestic terrorists. I'd go around talking about the Islamofascists, not worrying about the CAIR and all the other apologists for Islam. Oh and my favorite thing would be to talk about the degradation of the media whores out there. People always say how leftist the media has become, I don't think they are any different than they were 60 or 70 years ago. I just think it isn't so easy for them to hide today, things are a bit more transparent.

If I could be a bonnie pirate - This was as close as you can find on the list to being an action figure of some type. I'd love to be a protector of some sort but I'd have to be able to carry a weapon (or many weapons....~smile~) because shooting weapons is fun. I don't know about the actual killing of anything cause the most I've ever done is shoot at pheasants and squirrels.

So now I need to select some victims of my own. How about mdmhvonpa, and Teresa and I'll try Jean-Paul.
Update: mdmhvonpa has a posting on If I Could Be......


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